Transcending Trauma to Embrace Spirituality
No one could have imagined the world would be full of such darkness, pain, and trauma. The truth is we are never prepared for the possibilities of the unknown. I have experienced trauma since the womb, It began with my mother wanting to get an abortion with me after her and my father’s failing marriage began to tear at the seams. Being a child of divorce is one thing; in the worst-case scenario, you have to split living between two houses. I wish that were the case. My parents fighting finally came to an end when I was five. The dysfunction was fueled by alcohol and infidelity. The trauma seemed to become a familiar theme within my childhood as my mother moved on to another man quickly. Life seemed pleasant and normal until around my eighth birthday. I was sexually abused not by one individual but by two. The abuse continued until I was eleven years old. A move across the state brought me away from the abuse; however, the relief did not last long. I began diving into drinking and also became a juvenile delinquent early on and was lost to the pain, trauma, and shame of my childhood and early teenage years. The trauma continued until I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Self-induced trauma seems to most who have been through trauma as a way of punishing themselves.
Because we feel so much shame, we also experience brain damage. Check out the articles linked below to find support, or you can join our new Women Only Patreon. For years, I choose to self-medicate with alcohol and almost committed suicide. I lost my way, and every time, my soul fragmented. It wasn’t until I had my son that I overcame post-partum depression by following all the signs that happened after my spiritual awakening in 2018. The way that my lack of faith began to subside as I followed the signs opened my heart to deepening my intuition, and I started writing my book, Damaged Girl. I was able to begin releasing the memories and experiences from childhood into a memoir, which eventually led further into a series including a self-help book. How words can heal and hurt is mind-boggling, especially in the past few years on social media. I tried to take a risk doing some live-selling and live streaming with psychic readings and crystals and was bullied because I did not want to associate with specific individuals. I learned from that experience that I still had unresolved issues I needed to heal from, such as being too opinionated, self-sabotage, and stubborn. Though we have flaws and personal struggles, this does not give people permission to assault you verbally and threaten you. I finally left the platform this past May and finally took a stand to love myself better and stop putting myself into toxic environments.
People who have been through trauma tend to do what is called “trauma bonding.” This can be to a person, place, and thought process where we ignore our intuition and stay in high-stress situations because we think we do not deserve better. As those who suffer from trauma, we self-isolate and can miss out on opportunities. My friends, the truth is that when you want to create a better life, you must find your faith and open your heart again to believe. But most importantly, faith. It’s hard to trust when we do not have tangible evidence; however, the coincidences or synchronicities eventually build a path you can walk or avoid. I admit there were many times during my awakening when I was scared, lonely, and almost gave up ultimately. However, the more profoundly I searched within myself and followed the signs from my creator and ancestors, I finally learned to be more accountable. Part of transcending trauma is not to bury it, forget it, or avoid it. The key to transcending is learning how to address your traumas by identifying the triggers. After choosing to begin this journey, we must remember the path can take many twists and turns. You will have good days and bad ones. Sometimes, the bad outweighs the good, but with faith and a strong spiritual connection, you can always return to the center.
One of the most significant effects that trauma has had on me is flashbacks of memories, self-sabotage behavior, and putting myself in unsafe situations because I did not value my life or myself. The most significant part of my spiritual awakening that genuinely helped me start to have fewer trigger moments was when I found metaphysical tools like crystals and began a deeper study of Reiki healing and Shamanism. Learning about how we could start to heal holistically began before my awakening when I got diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and sought out a more holistic method of providing medicine to my body. You must discuss your path to combat your physical ailments with your doctor. Remember, you may be judged for your choices, so have a strong support team behind you.
The stigma with trauma is that you are not loving or unloveable when, in fact, those who have been through trauma love deeply and are the most loyal but have heavy trust issues. Some ways those of us with trauma deal with our pain and protect ourselves if to lean deeper into our masculine energy, Sometimes so much that we can have a hardened personality and have a hard time keeping relationships or having the connections we desire because of our past projections keep us in a karmic loop of attracting the same energies that hurt us through wanting to be the ‘hero’ selflessly dedicating ourself to those we serve. Not in a healthy way but in a way that creates dependency and, ultimately, disappointment, especially when you realize you were overcompensating or over-giving. Take time to re-evaluate your priorities. Reach out for support groups, and if you feel comfortable, tell your story! Look, I am still here helping and pushing through the fear. There is nothing you can’t do as long as it’s in alignment and divinely orchestrated by our creator.
So go ahead, transcend your trauma, and be the pioneer of redefining spirituality through the beautiful, creative expression of authentically being yourself.
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